Flying in the Twenty First Century

This past week, I ran out of town to attend the Art Basel Art Fair in Miami Florida. Living in California, I obviously had to take a plane ride to get me across the country, and for this trip I chose to ride Virgin America since I was going to flying across the country. I choose Virgin not only because they are a reputably better airline, but because each seat has its own television screen! (These television screens are something I absolutely find essential when flying across the country. And it still blows me away to know this piece of technology still not standard on all airlines, specifically the big ones).
It was the events that I experienced during this trip that made me extremely happy to know that I was drug free.
First "incident" occurred, in LAX. During the security check, officers from Homeland Security swabbed my fingers, palms, and laptop for chemicals. (What were they looking for? Drugs? Explosives? Both? Homeland Security wouldn't explain.) Fortunately I haven't been handling anything illegal, so I had nothing to worry about.
Five days later, in the Ft. Lauderdale / Hollywood International Airport, I got through security without issue. Funny thing was, I actually thought I was going to get enjoy the rather controversial full body scan, but I just had to contend with the metal detectors. However, when I got home and unpacked, this letter fell out of my suitcase:

 

That's right, the boys in blue went digging through my luggage. Once again, I have my sobriety to thank for making this a non-event. 

I keep imagining what might have happened if Homeland Security found something on me. I would have been thrown on the governments no fly lists in a flash, and the chances of me ever leaving the country would have been probably been somewhere next to impossible.

It makes me glad I got busted when I did.