Sunday, November 28, 2010

Ritual De Lo Habitual

The ritual behind my using is probably one of the first things I found myself consciously replacing. All the crap generally associated with my getting high were replaced with the ritual of making coffee and English tea.
Actually, my entire morning has become somewhat formulaic. Every morning, I start things off with a cup of English Breakfast Tea (Twinings), coupled with an English Muffin (Thomas) with butter and honey. I'm then on my way to the clinic for my daily dose of Methadone. and when I get home it's coffee time, followed by me working on whatever projects I've got going on. It's this sense of order, that helps me get through the first part of my day. The power of familiarity. It makes life somewhat tolerable I guess.
I can't believe I'm turning into a morning person. I can't help but wake up before eight now, which is great cause the weekend hours at the clinic are from 6 to 9. But after this month I should be getting "take homes" for being a good boy and not using any other controlled substances.
But asides for waking up early, just about every aspect of my conscious behavior has changed on me. When I was using all I listened to was NPR. Now I'm listening to music. I used to watch countless hours of television and veg out on my bed. Now I'm lucky if I squeeze in an hour a day (if any at all).
One of the weirdest habits I picked up when using was the ugly habit of not bathing. I'm not sure why I didn't care to bathe, but fortunately for me and the people around me, I'm bathing daily.
Anyways, that's all I want to talk about right now, but maybe I'll continue on this subject later.

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